My Take on Modesty

Okay. So recently I've been involved in a discussion about Modesty on Facebook, when I shared fMh's article "Tank Top Day" (which happens to be today), and I thought that I should kind of state what I think pretty plain and simple. I know that I've done a couple of modesty posts in the past, but this, I hope is kind of straightforward.

**Note** I originally wrote this to defend my position in a conversation, so I didn't cite my sources or anything when I "borrowed" and changed some stuff from fMh. But now that I'm putting it as a blog post, I kind of feel obligated to cite and link stuff.... But I changed some of it to fit in the convo, sooo.... will I get in trouble for that? I hope not....




 Now, I'm going to change up my response a little bit so that it will be in bullet points and italics and all that stuff, so it will be less confusing :)

• My thing is, that people go a little overboard sometimes. I believe that fear is the thing that drives people to do a lot of things, and that part of the modesty thing is that people are afraid. If you’re a parent and your daughter wears a tank top to the park or something, and you become afraid because, “It’s a big bad world out there, and what if because she’s showing her shoulders boys start noticing her, and that could lead to babies and diseases and oh no!” I don’t like the fact that most of the people I know (I obviously can’t speak for everyone, but this is how I see it), drive the modesty standards because of that kind of fear. We are afraid of teen girls getting pregnant, being thought to be a slut, or experiencing sexual assault, and we frequently draw a line from the sexiness of clothes to those adverse outcomes.

• It’s been implied to me that if I don’t dress modestly (as strictly defined by that line on the arm) then boys would lose respect for me and would see me as an object, not a person, and that other girls who dressed that way were just looking for attention and being inappropriate. I don’t like the way that makes you adjust your body image and self-esteem. I’ve gone almost 8 months of wearing just long sleeve shirts (not because the church’s modesty rules, but for personal reasons), and I know for a fact that your clothing choices can affect your confidence and self-esteem, especially when you feel obligated or forced to wear a certain kind, or feel pressured to. “For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” (1 Sam. 16:7) furthers my belief that God doesn’t care if people can see my shoulders. I’ve heard that being modest shows respect to your body and to Heavenly Father, but I seriously cannot logically think that He thinks less of me if I wear a sleeveless shirt or a swimsuit that doesn’t cover my stomach.

• Granted, I think there’s a line we have to draw on what we wear if it’s suggestive, etc. because I do believe that our bodies should be respected, and that if we wear something with the intent of being suggestive or “showing off”, that’s a problem. “What I am I trying to get from other people by dressing like this?” is what everyone should ask themselves. When I wear tank tops, I am not trying to get anything from other people. I am wearing it because it’s warm outside and I picked it for the day, and maybe it has a cute design on it or something. I don’t believe that NOT having a piece of fabric over my shoulders affects me in a negative way, except when people who have been raised all their lives to believe that it is bad judge me for it. When it comes to garments, I completely and 100% realize that to show respect, you wear clothes that cover them up. 

 

• But for people who haven’t been through the temple, I think that it’s more of a matter of personal opinion and belief, and what works best for you.

 Well, that's my take. Any questions?

Sources:

1) Feminist Mormon Housewives, "Modesty Part One of Four" (http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/2010/11/modesty-part-one-of-four/)

2) Feminist Mormon Housewives, "Modesty Part 4 of 4: Just For You" (http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/2010/11/modesty-part-4-of-4-just-for-you/)