Anyways. I think that some of the talks so far are so good that there's good possibility that there will be some posts from here about them, like President Uchtdorf's talk in the first session, and Elder Holland's talk in the second session. But a few of the talks made... a few emotions flare, not only from me but countless others as well. Elder Christofferson's talk irked a few people, but then today Elder Oak's talk just about did a bunch of people in. Including me. **Note: I haven't exactly been paying the closest attention to conference this year, but it's been on in the background and I'm catching all of the highlights from fMh's live blogging and re-caps.
Here's "Thunderchicken's" recap of Elder Oak's talk: [my emphasis added]
- Elder Oaks speaking: Loves to hear his brother and sisters speak (thanks). Ten commandments important for Christians and Jews. First commandment deals with what our priorities should be – no graven images and no idols and all. Jealous means “sensitive/deep feelings” – so we offend God when we have priorities above God ie. career aspirations, political correctness, material possessions, power, prestige, and some I missed.
- What is our ultimate priority? Are we focused on following the Savior? For Mormons commandments are inseparable from Plan of Salvation. If we do not establish our priorities in accordance with that plan, we’re in danger of serving other Gods. We’re a family centered Church. Our theology begins with Heavenly PARENTS. A man and woman necessary for fulfillment of plan.
- We grieve at declining birth rates in Christian/Jewish countries. US has low birth rate/decline in birth rates. Median age for marriage is now at highest in history (26 years for women). Traditional family is coming to be the exception rather than rule. Pursuit of career instead of family is increasing goal, and necessity of fathers is diminishing. Concerning trends. Plan of Salvation for ALL children.
- We still respect all those who do not believe as we do, or don’t believe at all. All sexual relations are sinful to one degree or another outside of a married relationship between a man and woman. Many Churches agree with us on the importance of the sacredness of marriage. Concerned with all the many children born outside of marriage, and couples who lives together unmarried. Now cohabitation exceeds 60 percent of marriages. 50 percent of teenagers thought that out-of-wedlock children are a worthy life style.
- We cannot justify laws or condone laws that support stuff like gay marriage (sorry, totally paraphrasing – kids climbing over me). Laws legalizing same-gender marriage to not change God’s laws. We remain under covenant to obey God’s commandments, and not serve other Gods, even if they become popular in our time. We may be accused of bigotry or suffer discrimination. If so, we need to remember our first priority to serve God. (DOES THIS TALK NOT END????)
- A moral coward is one who is afraid to stand up for something because of what others will think (or something like that????). We must not set our hearts on the things of the world/honors of men that we forget our destiny. We have a responsibility to never deviate from our desire to achieve eternal life, to have no other God and serve no other priorities before God.
My parents probably wouldn't appreciate me putting this here, but my mom is 53 years old and my dad just turned 61. Back when they were raised, the 1950s, 60s, and 70s, women and girls didn't really have much of a choice with their life besides getting married, having kids, and staying at home to take care of them. You remember the image of the typical 1950s housewife?
That's what they (especially my dad) was raised with. Plus, add on the fact that my paternal grandparents never graduated from high school and got married at sixteen... That's why those statistics were so shocking to them. While they were busy hemming and hawing about it, I didn't see anything wrong with those numbers. In fact, I would be perfectly fine getting married at 26.
Then Elder Oaks started going on about not delaying having children because of college or career goals. Wait a second... funny thing, I think that being pregnant and having children affects the wife more than the husband in that department. And it's difficult to go to college with a baby or little children on hand. So this is probably why traditionally the breadwinning is up to the husband. Which leads me to the fact that I believe we're cheating children out of their dreams.
Kids get asked all the time what they want to be when they grow up. A doctor, a firefighter, a policeman, a nurse, an engineer, a scientist, a builder. We smile and nod as they say it, whether it
be a male child or a female child. But little do they know that sometimes it's not that simple. Girls and boys know how to answer the question what they want to be when they grow up, but as girls get older they get bombarded with the expectations that they are going to get married. And have kids. And be the perfect stay at home wife and mother. Then the boys, they have hardly any restrictions when it comes to the career department. Get married, make sure that you have children, be a worthy Priesthood holder, and go to work and make a living. So why do we implant these false hopes and dreams in little girls when we ask them what the want to be when they grow up? Because we all know that they can go to college and get a degree and a good job, but that's not hardly expected of them. My mom didn't even go to college, and only had to get some kind of higher education when she had to become a CNA after her divorce to her first husband. She never even had to worry about going to college when she was married. And now she spends her days "busy" being the YW prez and cooking and cleaning and crocheting and running errands. This may be perfectly fine with some people, but not for me. I don't want to be that kind of wife. I want to get out and have a job, not just sit around the house all day. It may seem like freedom, but in the long run it may seem like a weight tied to your ankle.
Which brings me to a reply to one of my comments on the fMh live-blogging post of Sunday morning General Conference.
This is what I'm talking about. It's not like we're completely banned from getting an education and going to college, but obviously if we're going to stay at home and have kids (unless we get divorced or widowed) what's the point in going more in depth when it comes to schooling and education?
Elder Oaks is a great guy, and an amazing apostle. He really is. But he doesn't know me personally, or know my plans or dreams, or know my situation. The only thing he knows about me is that I am of the female gender. The reality is, not all women end up getting married. Not all women can have children. Everyone's situation is different. So please, General Authorities of the LDS church, please stop emphasizing the need to get married earlier, not delay in having children, and how women should stay at home to raise their children.
"Adam fell that men might be; and men are that they might have joy." If we are to have joy in our lives, then we need to stop doing things just to please other people or be "in the norm", or rise up to the expectations of others. We need to do what we feel is best for us individually, not what is expected of you because you are a female. I don't want to make the mistake of doing something that I felt pressured into that will eventually make me feel like I'm dying inside. I want to be happy, and if I follow the commandments and live my life the way *I* plan it to be, I will be happy.
And here's to Malala, who is trying to make education available to girls everywhere no matter what. She is an inspiration to me, and I think that if a girl who was shot in the head by the Taliban for going to school can make such an impact on the world and keep going, I can go to college and have a career and make all the life decisions that I want even with resistance and cultural restrictions.
This morning I cut out the cover and article on Malala and put it on my wall. Only after I taped it up there, I noticed that I put it under this quote, one of the many I have on the walls of my room. Coincidence? I think not.
